Vanity Theft – Get What You Came For

January 01, 1970

(Vigilante Music)


Neil Sedaka may have spawned
the most obvious statement ever when he recorded “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” in
1962, yet some 50 years later the ladies of Vanity Theft can’t seem to let it
go. Where Sedaka crooned innocently about love lost before moving on to the
next fling (“Next Door to an Angel” was released shortly thereafter), Vanity
Theft repeats the heartburn ad nauseum on Get
What You Came For
with 10 gutless tracks that compare a sorry ex to a
“Trainwreck” and threatens to dismantle him “Limb from Limb.”


Sure, revenge songs have
their place (how many times did you hear the name Cee-Lo last year?), but the
main issue with Get What You Came For is that for every unstable relationship in Vanity Theft’s queue, there’s an
equally unbalanced perspective of the punk rock angst the twenty-somethings try
to use as a medium to express themselves.


Joan Jett had her moment with
“I Hate Myself for Loving You,” but try as Vanity Theft might, the attempt at
emulating the singer only puts more focus on the nouns comprising their band
name. Where Jett had bar brawl bravery, Vanity Theft sheepishly opens their
lock-and-key diary. Where Jett had a pulsing backbeat, Vanity Theft has
starry-eyed synths. The best moments of Get
What You Came For
(“Trainwreck”) bring to mind a solid primer of the
Donnas, but the lasting finish is a muddled top coat of quick skips that peel
away at the flaws of a Paramore or Morningwood – strong vocals but stalling in
instrumentation and track-to-track originality. The one change up is the
Auto-Tuned final track “Missing Teeth,” which just creates a further gap for
listeners who have stuck with the album to the end.


Vanity Theft has a reputation
for offering a strong live set (they won a local-band slot on 2009’s Warped
Tour), but if this album is supposed to support their stage presence, fans may
not find they got what they came for.





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