Peelander-Z – P-TV-Z

January 01, 1970


(Chicken Ranch) /


Some time in the late ‘70s, a young parent who’s obsessed
with the Ramones has had a few too many Boilermakers. She gets home from the
show around three a.m. After handing her sister $10 for babysitting, the weary
mother collapses on the couch in the family room. Shortly after seven a.m., an
insanely upbeat children’s show blares from the TV – or so it seems to the woman
with one hell of a hangover. Staggering back to her bedroom doesn’t seem very
motherly – maybe her kid will get tired of this #$*!! and switch to the station
with Captain Kangaroo reruns. So she
keeps jamming a cushion over her ears and trying to nod back out. But something
that sounds like punk rock mixed with uber-cute counting and alphabet songs won’t
leave her in peace. On and on it goes: cheerleaders in Hell chanting “Go! Rio!”with
a chording that sounds an awful lot like “Blitzkrieg Bop.” Another starts like
Gary Glitter, but that relatively sedate progression dissolves into a frenetic
repetition of “E-I-E-I-O.”


The woman groans, wondering if other young parents who
monitor their kids’ TV habits are onto something. How can this be good? A
passel of studio musicians on triple espressos or speed, who are clearly
frustrated at not making it into metal or punk bands, are obviously inciting her
four-year-old to jump up and down over her head, demanding pancakes. She knows
she left Pop Tarts and juice where he could reach them if she’s not up in time
for breakfast.


Rubbing her head in vain, she pushes herself up to a seated
position as the show’s credits roll, revealing that the people responsible for
this barrage of exuberance include members of The Riverboat Gamblers, The
Octopus Project, Math the Band, Black Joe Lewis’ Honeybears, Atash, and Jack O’
Fire. “Like I give a s…t” comes out more like a pathetic moan than the sarcasm
she intends. “I love that SHOW!” spouts her little boy, happy to see her awake.


Kids of all ages should know that Peelander-Z has
thoughtfully included a DVD in a gatefold digipak saturated with “children’s”
visuals in primary colors that are just as loud as the audio contents. After
drinking copious amounts of coffee, the young mother watches this with her
child. She’s surprised at how often it elicits a guffaw. She sees that
Peelander-Z is much, much funnier with visuals.


nothing. Get the whole package for the DVD. MARY LEARY

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