Blurt’s pledge, to YOU, dear readers: we never gonna give you up.
By Uncle Blurt
In today’s edition of USA Today (Aug. 15) there’s a fanciful story about Elvis to mark the 36th anniversary of his passing in 1977. Yeah, yeah, I know – only USA Today, in its ongoing quest to not come across like the respectable cousin to supermarket checkout lane tabloids, would commemorate a THIRTY-SIXTH whatever. We imagine the celeb editor assigning longtime contributor Ken Barnes “to do a think piece on Elvis… ‘cuz we have a newshole to fill, and all those Kardashian bitches be quiet this week.”
Anyhow, in the mildly entertaining “Imagine If Elvis Had Never Left The Building,” Barnes imagines The King’s life, were it to have continued from 1977 to the near-present, and smack dab in the middle of the story he Rickrolls you. I won’t post a spoiler here – you’ll just have to read it yourself. But hats off to Barnes for making lemonade out of an editor’s lemons!
Incidentally, it appears that Universal Records has made YouTube take down all those “Never Gonna Give You Up”/”Smells Like Teen Spirit” Astley/Nirvana mashups. There are bound to be a few that have slipped through the censor door, however, so happy hunting!