Meet the Blurt Magazine Staff (#2)

Judge using his gavel

Standard office attire, natch…

By Uncle Blurt

As we finish up BLURT’s new print edition (that would be the 14th issue of the magazine, if you’re counting), we continue with our series of introducing you to all the folks who make us happen — humming along happily, so to speak.

Owner/Publisher Stephen Judge, above, is our stalwart majordomo and procurer of fine ales. He also adjudicates all disputes among staffers, a role which (as you might surmise from the photo) he takes very seriously, and when he enters the employee breakroom attired in his robes and toting his gavel, no one doubts that some serious shit is about to go down. How serious, you ask? Just recently BLURT received a promotional copy of that upcoming 43-disc Bob Dylan box set, setting off a mad scramble among the crew to see who could call dibs on reviewing it (and therefore being able to take possession). “Not so fast,” intoned The Judge, in his trademark Johnny Cash-like deep, resonant tones. He then divvied up the box amongst us. As he reached the final few discs, it was pointed out that we have a 44-person staff, not 43, so he reached beneath his robes, extracted a medium-sized saber, and summarily sliced the final CD in two; he then handed a half a disc to the last two employees, and we all hailed his keen Solomonic skills. If you think Rolling Stone operates this smoothly, you got another think coming, kids.

Stay tuned: many more BLURT-ers to come. Up next: Randito, the frito bandito we hail as our Señor Editor.

Staffer #1: Stella The Intern

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