Author Archives: randy

Nuge: If You Lick 'Em… Suck It?


Supreme Court strikes down D.C. gun ban; Nuge goes

By Randy Harward


Following a 5-4 Supreme
Court decision calling Washington,
D.C.’s 32-year-old ban on
owning handguns unconstitutional, classic rocker, carnivore and rifle-toter Ted
Nugent still couldn’t resist
shooting off his mouth. In a statement titled “A “Supreme”
Court? I Can Do Better,” the Nuge carped that anything less than complete,
unfettered access to firearms an outrage and only “asinine,”
“soul-dead,” “low-life scoundrels” would think otherwise.


It gets better–or worse.
From the bellicose statement:


“Keep-this means the gun is mine and you can’t
have it. This does not mean I will register it with a government agency. The
government works for “we the people,” not the other way around, regardless of
what Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Hitler, Mao Tse Tung, Pol Pot, Saddam
Hussein or Barack Hussein Obama or 4 supreme justices may try to tell


No matter your stance on the
issue, you have to wonder if Nuge is too stupid to know when he’s won.
Anyone with rudimentary counting skills and retaining at least five out of
their twenty digits can tell you that five beats four, game goes to Nuge, the
NRA and D.C. residents who wish to keep handguns in their homes. True, the
Antonin Scalia-written decision doesn’t affect the illegality of carrying
weapons outside the home, and the guns must still be registered with law
enforcement, but is he serious?


Going off half-cocked like
this is why it’s easy to see some gun enthusiasts–and even easier to view
weekend militia-men–as hopelessly bonkers. Here Nuge’s side
has managed to squash a big part of a gun control bill that stood for more than three decades, but because the
decision is a partial victory–not to mention a 5-4 squeaker, it’s
cause to crank up the dyspeptic rhetoric and air raid sirens? Even NRA
Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre realizes the significance–he’s
using the decision to mobilize efforts to strike down handgun bans in Chicago and San
Francisco. And even notoriously dim President
Bush sees it’s a good thing:


“As a longstanding
advocate of the rights of gun owners in America, I applaud the Supreme Court’s
historic decision today confirming what has always been clear in the
Constitution: the Second Amendment protects an individual right to keep and
bear firearms,” Bush said [in a statement].


Uncle Teddy seems to say, to
borrow from one of his album titles, that when he licks you, well,
why don’t you just suck it? (We’re pretty sure that infringes on our personal
freedom, Unkie.) Ain’t it all about compromise? Can we get a little tit
for rat-a-tat? That is, in light of your victory, can you shut yer yap for
a minute and, I dunno, pause to consider the significance of what has
transpired? (Yes, we are setting you up for the delicious irony of hearing you
cry about your 1st Amendment rights, you braying jackass. Hee-haw.)


For your entertainment, the
unabriged screed:




by Ted Nugent


It is glaringly obvious that a critical lesson in history 101 is
due in America, for it appears that not only does a lunatic fringe of
anti-freedom Americans dismiss our founding fathers’ clear declaration of
independence and succinct enumeration of our God-given individual rights, but
some Americans have the arrogance and audacity to question whether the right to
self-defense is indeed one of these individual rights. Dear God in heaven, who
could be this soulless? How about 4 out of the 9 so called “Supreme” justices
of the land. God help us all.


Who could be so asinine as to believe that a free man has no such
right to keep and bear arms for self-defense? What kind of low-life scoundrel
would know that courageous heroes of the U.S. Military would volunteer over and
over again to sacrifice and die for such self-evident truths, then turn around
and spit on their graves by discounting the very freedoms that these brave men
and women have died to protect?


Will these supreme legal scholars also affirm an individual right
to choose the religion of our individual choice? Do they authorize our
individual freedom of speech? Can you imagine? Them is fighting words my
friends, and the line drawn in the sand has never been more outrageous.


Recent USA Today and Gallup polls showed a whopping 73% of good
Americans know damn well that we are all created equal, and that we each have
an individual right to protect our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. What
kind of jackass doesn’t know this? Allow the guitar player to translate for the
soul-dead among us.


means the gun is mine and you can’t have it. This does not mean I will register
it with a government agency. The government works for “we the people,” not the
other way around, regardless of what Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Hitler, Mao
Tse Tung, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein or Barack Hussein Obama or 4 supreme justices
may try to tell you.


means I’ve got it right here, on me, either in my grasp or damn near. This does
not mean locked away in a safe, trigger-locked or stored at the local sporting


Shall not be infringed-this of course is another way of saying Don’t tread on me, for we will not be your willing crime victims, subjects, servants or slaves, so
don’t even think about it.


When the evil King’s gangsters came to collect unfair taxes from
Americans, we tossed their tea into the drink. When they came to disarm us into
helplessness against their old world tyrannical ways, we met them at Concord Bridge and shot them dead till they quit
treading on us. Any questions children? I didn’t think so.


Corrupt men cannot be trusted, hence the right of “the people” to
choose the individual church of our choice, to speak our individual ideas
and beliefs, to have individual freedom from unwarranted searches and
seizures, and ultimately, to exercise our individual right to keep and
bear arms so that evildoers cannot do unto us that which we would not do unto
them. Get it? I would love to meet the human being who would argue these points
with us. We would be looking at a fascist, and of course fascists, by all
historical and empirical evidence, must be eliminated.


If you value the American Way, if you believe in the words and
spirit of the US Constitution and our sacred Bill of Rights, if you know in
your heart that you have the right, the duty, the spiritual obligation to
protect yourself and your loved ones from evil in all of its forms, then you
had best contact each and every one of your elected officials right away and let
them know that you know exactly what the Second Amendment says and stands for.
Remind them about the “shall not be infringed” clause.


It will not be the fault of the rotten anti-Americans out there
who don’t believe in individual rights that rape and pillage our Constitution,
it will be the fault of those who know better but failed to speak up. Now is
the time to fortify America,
and we better inform the Supreme Court just who truly is the “Supreme” Court of
America-We the people. Individual people with individual, God given rights. The
real America.
Live free or die.





NIN: 2 More Ways To Give Us The Slip


Nine Inch Nails  to offer limited CD/DVD and unlimited vinyl
editions of album.

By Blurt


Let’s hear
it for added value: After offering its latest album, The Slip, as a free download, Nine Inch
Nails has prepared two physical releases of the album, both with a price


On July 22
comes a six-panel digipak CD/DVD iteration of The Slip, limited to a scant 250,000 copies (get ’em while
they’re hot, people) and containing tour rehearsal footage, 24-page
booklet–and stickers! Then on August 5, and here’s marketing brilliance
for ya, they’ll unleash an unlimited gatefold 180-gram vinyl version of the album. (Each retails for $24.98.)


somebody should tell Trent Reznor he has this backwards–or maybe this is just
another upside-down, bizarro NIN twist? The mind reels.





Sick and taking no shit, Josh Homme lets a
rowdy fan have it—in the face, if he’d had his druthers.

By Randy Harward


Did you hear? You
know, that Queens of the Stone Age frontguy Josh Homme read a rowdy fan the XXX version of the riot act in Oslo last
weekend? Evidently Homme wasn’t feeling too well and when a fan tossed
something at him, he lost his shit—all over the guy. Here’s a sampling of some
Homme-spun wisdom:


“Hey, do me one favor, though: don’t throw
any shit at me… I’m not so sick that I can’t go down there and beat the fuckin’
shit out, you know what I’m sayin’? I may have a fuckin’ 102 temperature and
been pukin’ for three days, but I’ll still butt-fuck you in front of all your


Homme then unleashed
the fuckin’ fury on the “pussy with the black hair,” whom he also called a
“chickenshit fuckin’ faggot” and a “pussy motherfucker.” The fan was ejected
from the show although Homme, moving toward the stage and holding his guitar
out of the way, said he wanted them to lift the fan onstage so he could “kick
him in the fuckin’ face.” The Norwegian Wood Festival security simply escorted
the fan out of the show.


You know what the
funniest thing about Scandinavia is? Its little differences. Here, Homme
might’ve gotten his wish. But was this his Michael Richards moment? Some people seem to think he could
learn a lesson (in what, taking shit from shitheads?). But BLURT sides with
Homme on this one. Tossing anything other than bras or panties or weed or dirty
pictures or Carl’s Jr. coupons onstage just ain’t cool. Fuck that guy.





Proceeds generated by scribbled-on instrument
to benefit AthFest.


By Randy Harward


R.E.M. is showing
some hometown love by auctioning off a signed guitar to benefit AthFest, a
non-profit organization that preserves the jangly history of the Athens music and art
scene. The Brian Setzer Model Gretsch Nashville hollow-body was donated by
Gretsch, which celebrates 125 of years of guitar-making this year. From the
press release:


In keeping with AthFest’s mission to educate
people about music and arts, our staff is organizing a program that will bring
musicians and music business leaders into local schools to make presentations
to classes, as well as mentor kids interested in careers in music. Savannah,
Ga.-based Gretsch Guitars has a foundation that donates guitars that are
decorated by artists or signed by musicians and then sold to raise funds for
music and arts education programs.

The guitar has been
signed by all four original members of R.E.M., including retired drummer Bill
Berry, and comes complete with a new deluxe case. The eBay auction will begin
on June 18, coinciding with the start of AthFest, and conclude June 27.




By Randy Harward


Idiot savant garage
rocker Jay Reatard’s gonna drop Singles
, compiling 17 already
out-of-print limited-edition singles he recorded for In The Red, Goner,
Squoodge, P. Trash and Stained Circles. Reatard played every note (save some
geetar on “All Wasted” by Alix Brown of Angry Angels), and did all the
knob-twiddlin’, too. The deluxe package also includes a DVD with four live
shows: Philadelphia, Las Vegas, New York
City and The Netherlands.


According to the
press release from In the Red Records, “2006 and 2007 was an insanely prolific
time for Jay, as he left behind his many bands and projects (among them The
Reatards, The Lost Sounds, Angry Angles, Final Solutions, Bad Times, Terror
Visions, etc.) and started recording under his own name, taking musical cues
from Wipers, Wire, The Clean, The Adverts and 999. Five singles were released
around the time of his breakthrough album Blood Visions, as some of those
album’s songs first appeared in versions on 7″ singles first.”


The package comes
one week before Reatard releases the third 7” in his limited-edition Matador
singles series (to be compiled on CD this September, preceding a full-length
debut on Matador in 2009), and roughly three weeks before a tour that’ll take
him from Denmark (Roskilde Festival) to Dallas.


Jay Reatard Tour Dates:



Sunday, July 6: Roskilde, Denmark
Festival *with Slayer, Judas Priest, Neil Young*)

Monday, July 14: Philadelphia, PA
(Johnny Brendas)

Tuesday, July 15: Brooklyn, NY (Prospect Park Bandshell *with Spoon*)

Thursday, July 17: Providence, RI
(Lupo’s *with Spoon*)

Saturday, July 19: Chicago, IL
(Pitchfork Music Festival *with King Khan & The Shrines, Times New Viking,
Dinosaur Jr.*)

Sunday, July 20: Minneapolis, MN
(Triple Rock *with Cheap Time*)

Monday, July 21: Fargo, ND
(The Aquarium *with Cheap Time*)

Thursday, July 24: Seattle, WA
(Capitol Hill Block Party *with Le Savy Fav*)

Friday, July 25: Vancouver, WA
(Commodore Ballroom *with Le Savy Fav*)

Saturday, July 26: Portland, OR
(Doug Fir *with Cheap Time*)

Monday, July 28: San Francisco, CA
(The Independent *with Cheap Time*)

Wednesday, July 30: Los Angeles, CA
(The Echo *with Cheap Time*)

Thursday, July 31: San Diego, CA
(The Casbah *with Cheap Time*)

Friday, August 1: Mesa, AZ (Hollywood Alley *with Cheap Time*)

Sunday, August 3: Austin, TX
(Red 7 *with Cheap Time*)

Monday, August 4: Dallas, TX
(Club Dada *with Cheap Time*)





By Randy Harward


We all know that “Wu-Tang
Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck wit!,” but although de facto Wu leader the RZA
espouses peace and intellectual edification, one would assume they mean to not
fuck wit them in the hip-hop game. Not chess. And yet, this: is the world’s first online chess
and hip-hop community letting users play live chess with people from all over
the world. lets players get knowledge from real chess masters
online, or train in chambers against the computer to refine their skills. At, subscribers can log on to watch chess clans do battle on and check
out exhibition matches with RZA, other Wu-Tang members and stars from across
the planet.


Aaaahhhhh! That’s GZA
to Ghostface 6, bitch! Check-fuckin’-mate. That’s the Zig-Zag-Zig, right
there! Now you gotta smoke this blunt and recite the Supreme Alphabet. That is,
if you down. Is you?


Naw, I’m just


RZA says of,
“[it’s] a great platform for the digital world… a whole new world of myth and
reality where people can come talk about chess and challenge the Wu members in
our chambers.” A video game, a comic book and a film are all in development
and all mostly focusing on the story of RZA’s alter-ego Bobby Digital, a
digital superhero who “transforms into a powerful being that struggles
with the good and evil inside himself by saving the lives of others.”


Today RZA commences
a tour supporting the third Bobby Digital album, Digi Snacks, due June 24 on Koch Records. The jaunt will be his first
ever live band tour with backing band Stone Mecca.


Digi Snacks finds
RZA fleshing out the Bobby Digital character’s identity and story (in the songs
and the apt added-value: a comic book), which parallel RZA’s own. “This is the
snack pack, showin’ you some sides of him,” he tells BLURT. “It includes songs
that’s life-related; it includes songs that are totally like science fiction.”
The line between the two is hard to differentiate, and RZA alludes to his own
promiscuity and bad deeds—ostensibly, when he shot that dude in 1993. It’s
nothing if not perfect superhero lore.


“[Bobby Digital]’s still strugglin’ with his sex—tryin’ not
to be so promiscuous,” he chuckles. “His growth is basically at that point
right before I started Wu-Tang Clan. Right before I started Wu-Tang Clan, I was
at that point where… I had demons inside myself. And it took a tragedy for me
to snap out of it.”


Read more from this interview in the July BLURT.