S-Blood's Pitts Does M-Blog Perp Walk

 

Above photo of the
alleged assailant dated March 31, from JailBase.com.

 

By Perez Mills

 

In Indieland, it seems, no one can hear you scream –
everyone’s too busy fretting about whether you’ve “sold out” or if that remix
you did with A$AP Rocky passes muster to give a shit about sweatin’ the small
stuff. Like having a massive row with your girlfriend.

 

That’s what John Paul Pitts, 28, was accused of a full 4 ½ months
ago by the Palm Beach (Fla.)
County Sheriff’s Office, following an arrest
for domestic battery. Here are some details about the March 31 altercation
between Pitts (who had “scratches and bruises to his chest [and] a bite mark…
on the middle portion of his chest”) and his (unidentified) girlfriend, which
left said girlfriend “visibly shaking and crying” and with “bruises on the… left
and right arm [and right eye],” as obtained from the incident report:

 

 

The victim stated on
today’s date, Pitts and herself returned from an evening out. An argument
pursued because she called a friend, stating she might need a place to stay.
Pitts went into the bathroom and stated he was going to harm himself. When she
knocked on the door, Pitts came out, they went into the bedroom, and the
arguing continued. The victim stated Pitts grabbed her and flipped her over her
shoulder, he then pinned her down by climbing on top of her. The defendant then
proceeded to shove his fingers inside of her mouth. In return, she attempted to bite him and he pushed his fingers away. He
continued to press his weight against her so she bit him on his chest. The
victim stated this has occurred before. She told Pitts on numerous occasions
she was going to call the police, but he just laughed. Advised she is not
trying to ruin his life.

 

 

Clearly, this is news – admittedly, in our current culture,
not news on the Celeb-O-Meter level with, say, Kanye West beating the shit out
of Kim Kardashian, but still news. But why is it news TODAY, so long after the
fact? Particularly given that Pitts essentially got off on a “plea and pass” deal on July 13 and will have all charges wiped clean if he keeps, er, his nose
clean via court-dictated terms through next April? It’s news ‘cos Pitchfork sez
so! This afternoon the popular Chicago-based urban/hip-hop/indie-rock website
came across the details a month after the whole thing was essentially over.
Upon Pitchfork’s publishing the story along with Pitts’ mug shot (above), blogs
across the country – and even the random mainstream news outlet – began
reposting it, with various minor spins or coloring-around-the-edges, and citing the Pitchfork piece as the original source.

 

(below: Surfer Blood in prescient Jesus Christ pose)

 

 

Now THAT’s news-gathering in ‘merica, folks: it ain’t so unless we tells ya it’s so!

 

Meanwhile, Pitts and his girlfriend get to relive what was
no doubt a personal nightmare all over again, thanks to some editor’s misguided
notion of what constitutes “news” and “timeliness.”

 

 

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