WACKED / STEVEN LORBER

 

 

DRIVING WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING- OR 10 SONGS
FROM THE PHANTOM ZONE

 

By Steven Lorber

 

Today I crawled into my house after being stuck in
the Washington
traffic and remarked to my wife how the sweltering heat/bad drivers and NPR was
enough to make ” a grown man cry”. I went on to further whine how nice it would
be to have a cd player in the car where I could at least steal some inspiration
from tunes and  block out   the unrelenting summer heat. “Dum Dum-you
have a cd player in your car-don’t your remember in the 90’s you gave me one on
my birthday.!!! What’s wrong with you-you’re starting to scare me!”  “Oh Yeah-Yeah-does it still work has it been
there all this time-how could I have forgotten…. Ok I’ll try it.

 

Variety is of course, “the spice of life” and I
quickly discovered the one artist cd does not cut the mustard.  So in the spirit of Open Source… Here is my
gift with love  “From Me to You.”

 

1)     Cat
Stevens-Here comes my baby

 

How ironic Mr. Jew here
picks as his no.1, a tune by everyone’s favorite Imam-Yusef or Cat Stevens.
During the heyday of swinging London-Cat was quite the cool dude-coming up with
psychedelic pop freak beat classics like-I love my dog/Matthew and son/I’m
gonna get me a gun
-and of course this gem-best known as a hit for the
Tremeloes. Cat later graduated to a post hippy sensitive troubadour and
appealed to the sophisticated female granny glasses feminist set. I’ll never
forget in 1985 I was in London
with my wife in a very Tony woman’s clothing store and they had Tea for the
Tillerman playing on the stereo.  Yes Ok
I bought three tops.

 

 

2)     The
Nits-Tutti Ragazzi

 

The Nits were a Dutch power
pop group who found their place in the sun during the early 80’s on the “action
strasse” or Club Paradiso. One thing they had in common with all European pop
bands is their skewed interpretation of American rock and roll.  But you got to love them.  To better understand the appeal-imagine that
you took the Beach Boys “I Get Around,” and put it through google
Translator…you get..

 

 

3)     Flamin
Groovies-Slow Death

                        

Now here is the ULTIMATE
Nerd Band. If you were a Geek or a Nerd You could never be Mick Roger Keith
Robert John or Paul but you could be Cyril Jordan or Roy Loney-the Nerds Nerd.
These guys waved their freak flag and planted it on Mt. Everest.
They gave us the rare commodity-Hope!! This was something to strive for. Salute
the masters.

 

 

4) Linda
Rondstadt-You’re a very lovely Woman

 

                I always had strong
uncontrollable sexual feelings for this woman. Many the nights I spent with
that album cover in New North. This is an obscure tune originally penned by
Emitt Rhodes. She had the voice the conviction and the……

 

 

5)Algebra
Mothers-Strawberry Cheesecake

 

          In the Bowels of Rock History there
is always a group/artist to prove someone wasn’t the first-and in this case
these guys were rapping &  hip
hopping to a new wave groove while 
Jay-Z/grandmaster flash/ice cube/diddy/kanye  were all 
in diapers. Who were these guys/wp-content/photos A copy of this cd to anyone who can
decipher the lyrics!! I cant.

 

 

6) Trevor White-Crazy
Kids

 

         For my money this is the greatest song
to come out of the Glam rock movement. An unsung teenage anthem-step aside  Pete Townsend. My nephew had a rock band in
high school and I said, Ben play this song and the girls will be crawling all
over you and the guys will be destroying everything in sight-he just gave me a
look…………..

 

 

7. The Sunny Boys-Alone
With You

 

The spiritual descendants
of the Easybeats. This is Australia’s
biggest secret and quite possibly the best modern band ever to come from the
land down under. A history of bad management, drug abuse and mental illness
destroyed their promising career. Their early albums and singles were-I know
its overused—pure genius. Jeremy Oxley the world needs you!!!

 

 

8. Esther & Abi
Ofarim-Wonderlove

 

              Esther & Abi  were the Sonny & Cher of Israel.  And they had some worldwide notoriety with
the sixties song “Cinderella Rockafella,” This video begins with some
unintended shtick.  Only a Jewish
performer would have a nosh on stage take pictures of the audience and then
sing one of the most beautiful songs ever written. Last I heard they were still
performing at the intercontinental in Tel Aviv.

 

 

9. New Math-Die Trying

 

              Another great obscure band with
an even greater and more obscure song. Groups and songs like this is my
personal reason for believing in America– American Rock and Roll and
steak-ums. There are a thousand stories in the Naked City
and this is one of them.

 

 

10. Hank Marvin & Mark Knopfler-Wonderful
Land

 

             One of the excesses of the 70’s
was the slogan “Clapton is God” Eno
is God.”  The truth was “HM was God” and
still is.  Ask any British guitarist from
Eric Clapton/jimmy Page/Jeff
Beck/Alvin Lee… and they will all agree. Mark Knopfler was a disciple and his Sultans
of Swing had Hank Written all over it. I’m not a particularly religious
fellow-but I would consider joining the church of Hank.

 

 

The Above excerpt
is from the Authors New E Book, ” Cry Screams & Rants from the
Masturbatorium”

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply