Heart to McSame:Rather Rim Meat Loaf!

 

 

Come to think of it,
so would we.

By Fred Mills

 

 

 

Wow, just when you thought that brouhaha over the McSame-Van
Palen campaign ripping off Heart’s song “Barracuda” had died down, the Wilson sisters have
decided to dive right back into the fray.

 

In an op-ed column titled “Cease and Desist, You Old Fart”
that’s signed jointly by Ann and Nancy Wilson, the Republican presidential
hopeful gets a new asshole liberally ripped for him. “We tried to be civil,”
write the sisters. “God knows why we thought you’d listen to us, two strong,
creative women – I guess we’re all just ‘trollop-faced cunts’ to you.”

 

(The latter is a reference to a quote attributed to McSame
from several years ago in which he was berating his wife Cindy for something
dumb she did – unfortunately, reporters were present when the alleged quote was
uttered.)

 

In that vein, Wilsons
continue, “Speaking of Cindy, who can blame her for hitting the pills? We’d
need a Demerol epidural to live through five minutes of her conjugal duties –
you sloshing your saggy ass between her legs and chomping at her breasts with
your little yellow teeth. We’d rather rim Meat Loaf. Seriously.”

 

Wow, harsh.

 

Well, we at BLURT would rather rim Meat Loaf than see McSame
and Palen take the White House, so….

 

Anyhow, there’s lots more juicy stuff in the column.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) – IT’S A FAKE!
Published by Seattle
alternative newsweekly The Stranger,
it’s the latest in a series of very clever hoaxes from the paper called “New
Column!” Other recent entries include one by a “Sarah Palin” titled “I Got Drunk
and Blew Three-Fourths of Van Halen” and “Is You Am Genius?”

 

Dang. Well, in this instance, fake news is way more interesting
than real news. I mean, you can’t sit around waiting for, I dunno, someone like
George Michael to get busted in a men’s bathroom or something, can ya?

 

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