A Butthole on FOX News

 

Butthole Surfer Gibby Haynes appears on FOX News program; world implodes.

By Randy Harward

 

So FOX News is trying to affect an edge. That’s not news; they’ve been making feeble attempts at cool for a while now. The late-night show Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld, for example, has aired over 300 episodes and featured such guests as pothead comedians Tommy Chong and Doug Benson, cringe humorist Jim Norton, porn star Savanna Samson and unclean rocker Andrew W.K.  So the Butthole Surfers’ Gibby Haynes shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, yet he was just as shocked as we were to be an invited guest on the program. 

 

“That’s the only reason I’m here,” Haynes said when Gutfled asked if he ever expected to be on FOX News. Haynes then asked for the real scoop on Bill O’Reilly, the network’s famously crazed host of The O’Reilly Factor. When told he was sitting in the very spot they film the show, Haynes wasn’t all that impressed, instead asking if O’Reilly was “really like that” and then accepting Gutfeld’s answer to the affirmative–and ensuing Paul Bunyan tale about how O’Reilly’s NBA-level stature–before answering boring questions about his band like, “What exactly is a Butthole Surfer?”

 

“It’s the name of our band,” Haynes replied before genially bemoaning the lame query. “God, that’s like the first question, like–30 years ago…”

 

Well, you know you gotta give FOX viewers the back story. Few of them have surfed the crest of that particular wave. At least, not publicly.

 

Oh, well. At least the message is getting out.


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