KID ROCK TO LEFSETZ: "ILL BE SERIOUS"

 

 

 

 

Responding to industry
blogger’s comments, rap-rocker lets the CAPS, exclamation points, f-bombs, fellatio
denial n’ shit fly.

By Randy Harward

 

No one ever accused Kid Rock of being a Pulitzer
Prize-winning author or even a Publisher’s Clearinghouse prizewinner, but the
trailer park rock star’s response to a recent edition of The Lefsetz Letter [Note: circulated via email tonight, but yet to
appear on the LL site] is borderline ILLiterate, and ILLogical.

 

Lefsetz pondered whether or not Kid Rock is selling 100,000
CDs per week is because his record is unavailable via iTunes. He also
contemplates whether Jay-Z’s decision to offer American Gangster only as a full-album download on Apple’s music
service, as opposed to allowing buyers to choose individual tracks, killed its
sales—and whether the only reason Katy Perry has done so well is that her album
is available in piecemeal so people can scarf up her calorie-light single with
the ripped-off title and theme. Lefsetz also conjectures that Kid Rock’s sales
may be due to his older crowd, status as a career artist, and capability of
making an album that is “good.”

 

Rock’s rejoinder is mostly about sucking dick and how he,
just like his musical, ideological and personal antithesis James McMurtry,
doesn’t do that. In an expletive- and exclamation point-laden rant that begins
(all quotes verbatim, with formatting left as-is)…

 

GET OFF MY
DICK”!!!    ……that was gonna be my email, hahahaha, but
were buddies now, so ill be serious!!

 

…and probably passes for a graduate thesis around Rock’s
doublewide tour bus, he laments that artists no longer connect with their
audiences.

 

I really believe its
about a connection to the artist and the “lack of” that plays a big
part in this. When I would hear a Bob Seger or Run DMC record as a  kid, I
really believed they WERE the songs, and that they were who they sang and wrote
about. I think that connection, especially in pop music has been missing for
sometime. Shit, I dont think kids even believe in half the rappers are who they
claim to be anymore.

 

Yes, we’re all devastated when we find out a public
figure—especially a rapper—is frontin’. But is he saying he’s not putting on a show? Well, mayhap he
isn’t—er, ain’t. One thing you can say about Kid Rock is that his shit-talkin’ trailer
trash trucker countenance is intact (like he tells Lefsetz: you ll never beat word of mouth on a good
product!
), even if his logic and syntax sometimes are not.

 

Here’s another verse from his Lefsetz epistle, this time
about why radio sucks the dick and, surprisingly, how McMurtry’s song “Cheney’s
Toy” is a hit (pretty surprising, coming from Bush supporter).

 

On another note, the
radio has fucked so much of it up, for instance, that James Mcmurty song is a
pop hit, but they know he wont suck thier dick so they say fuck him and as a
result kids lose out on hearing a great song and pop music suffers. Now
obviously i dont suck dick either, but i know how to put my arm around em and
make em feel good, maybe tickle thier balls a little if it means more people
will hear my music. BUT NO DICK SUCKING!! Programmers are not the fucking
stars, artists are, but if they would rather party with brittney or mariah
rather than folks like me, thier missing one hell of a party!! I mean ,I wanna
be friends with radio and have met some good folks in it, but overall they make
it very difficult with the politics and bullshit, and the record companys share
in that as well. (shit, sometimes us artists do too)

And this biggest thing
is, you ll never beat word of mouth on a good product! And when people love
something, theyll do whatever it takes to get it. Itunes is convienient, but so
is Mcdonalds, but……. a lotta people still wait in line and make
reservations to eat elsewhere!! Sometimes when you believe in yourself and your
product, NO is the best answer. Thiers plenty of ways to have big sales without
itunes (or conventional wisdom), i just proved it! (dont mean to toot my own
horn but BEEP FUCKING BEEP!!!! haha)

 

Whuuuuh? He’s the
upscale alternative to McSpears and McCarey? He’s a pop artist just like them. And
he is—or at least was—friends with radio. Maybe that’s why he’s a little
prick…ly. The industry is changing even for him, and when CDs go away, if Kid
Rock doesn’t embrace iTunes, et al, he and his luddite fanbase may have a
problem. So yeah, dude, don’t suck off the programmers—you should be blowin’
the online music services. You know, after the marketing tricks cease to be effective. There’s some conventional
wisdom for ya.

 

 

bottom line, lets
bring some creativity back into this buisness and make it fun again,lifes too
short, thats where im at with things.

A one-note trick like Kid Rock is gonna breathe life into a dying… business? Music is art, asshole. That’s
the difference between you and guys like Neil Young.

 

and ps, Mellencamp has credability oozing out of
his hit makin ass!!


Yeah, he does. Probably a convoy of new Chevy Silverados,
too. And of course you’d be the guy to understand selling out.

 

ps (i know my typing and shit sux)

tReU dAt!!!!

 

 

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