Doherty/Babyshambles Banned From Festival

Band reportedly “gees
up” crowds… what the fuck is “gee up”?!?

By Fred Mills

 

 

 

Ah, sometimes we write the news, and sometimes the news
writes itself… whew. Britain’s
NME is reporting today that
professional crackhead/tabloid fixture/songwriter Pete Doherty and his band
Babyshambles had been scheduled to appear at the Moonfest Festival in Wiltshire, England,
on August 29. Then the bobbies got into the act and reportedly put forth an
“investigation into Babyshambles’ stage manner.”

 

The conclusion, according to Chief Superintendent Julian
Kirby, quoted in the article, was that what Doherty toes “as part of his routine
is to gee up the crowd. They speed up and then slow down the music and create a
whirlpool effect in the crowd. They [the crowd] all get geed up and then they
start fighting.”

 

Well, yeah; that should be obvious. Why, just last night, I
was drunk, sitting in front of my washing machine, and after all the spinning
and whirlpool effects I found myself totally geed up and soon I was fighting.
Everybody knows this.

 

A statement made by Babyshambles drummer Adam Ficek indicated that
the band viewed “the whole thing [as] a farce, it’s almost
comical. The organiser of the festival is now on the verge of bankruptcy. Why?
Because we intentionally speed up and slow down the tempo of our songs. We’re
now in the process of trying to make it happen in a different venue. Watch this
space.”

 

Moonfest has reportedly only sold 150 tickets for the 5,000
capacity festival. Yes, you read that figure corretly, 5,000, according to the NME, will constitute a “festival.”

 

Okay, everyone return to their speeding up and slowing down.
Watch those gees.

 

 

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