Dr. Dre is Finally Sorry for Beatin’ Up All Those Ho’s

Dre

New public stance has absolutely NO correlation with promotion for the current N.W.A. biopic Straight Outta Compton, which Dre and Ice Cube co-produced…. Above: Dre models his signature line of boxing gloves, dubbed the “bitchbags”.

By Uncle Blurt

Sometimes the bitches write the news, but sometimes the news writes th’ damn bitches, yo:

N.W.A. co-founder Dr. Dre, currently raking in the dough with the band’s Straight Outta Compton flick, is now making a bid for the so-called “female” (read: ho) demographic via some – and obviously sincere! – conciliatory gestures to da ladies. Is it intended to either salve his conscience or, more likely, reel in more benjamins? Who knows! Speaking to the media at large via a statement to the New York Times, the newly-sensitive-male-centric Dre regretfully apologized to unnamed women that he hurt in the past, saying, “I apologize to the women I’ve hurt. I deeply regret what I did and know that it has forever impacted all of our lives.”

Er, that would be various assaults, beatings and whatnot Dre has been party to over the years… specifically, a quarter-century’s worth, which can indeed impact lives. (Just do the math.) To wit:

“Twenty-five years ago, I was a young man drinking too much and in over my head with no real structure in my life. However, none of this is an excuse for what I did. I’ve been married for 19 years and every day I’m working to be a better man for my family, seeking guidance along the way. I’m doing everything I can so I never resemble that man again.”

Maybe Dre and Bill Cosby can put their heads together to determine exactly what “that man” looked like, and what “this man” SHOULD look like in 2015. Dontcha just LOVE hip-hop in its many complex-yet-introspective-and-sensitive permuntations?

Meanwhile, Straight Outta Compton looks poised to be the number one film at the boxoffice for yet a second weekend. Hey, ladies…!

Fuck. Where’s Key and Peele when we need ’em?

 

 

 

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