Austin Nixes Lady Gaga’s Bid to Play That Giant Doritos Machine During SXSW

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No truth to rumor she’ll be riding the “Coney Dog Car” around in the streets as a substitute…

 By Perez Mills

 Meow! Rrrrr!! Hiss!!!! Take that, Little Monsters: your musical dominatrix will not be performing on the Doritos Stage this year at SXSW, as Austin’s Music & Entertainment Division has turned down a permit request, citing “public safety concerns” stemming from the expected crush of fans that would descend upon the parking lot at 504 E Fifth Street where the giant facsimile – and actually working – replica of a Doritos vending machine doubled as a concert stage. Recall that the event has run smoothly for the past two years, with last year’s hip-hop blowout featuring Public Enemy, Ice Cube and LL Cool J literally blasting the salt off the chips, er, tearing the roof off the sucka.

As Austin360.com reports, M&E manager Don Pitts stated that, “Our conclusion was based primarily on public safety concerns. As part of the review process the applicant provides a talent list to the city team (AFD, APD, ATCEMS and Office of Special Events) to review and we can adjust public resources as needed.  We look at the size and capacity of the location covered by the permit being sought and how it fits with the anticipated attendance, based on event capacity and promotion. At the end of the day, it’s a parking lot. We informed the applicant that we would support relocation to an established venue with the necessary permanent infrastructure.”

Stubbs, are you listening?

Meanwhile, the 360 article also floats the possibility that Lady Gaga might turn out to be this year’s SXSW keynote speaker since one has yet to be announced… which means trying to get near the Austin Convention Center during the keynote time frame would become a logistical nightmare.

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