2015 Pitchfork Music Festival now Streaming Live and… zzzz….

PFMF

Make that….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………………………………..

by Barbi Martinez, Blurt Intern

Wish I could be in Chicago in the middle of July every year! I mean, today it’s ONLY “88 degrees (feels like 98 degrees)” according to the Weather Channel, citing the nearly 70% humidity and next-to-no breeze out there at balmy Union Park. But hey, just like Lollapalooza, the Pitchfork folks toss out water bottles and periodically shoot water cannons and the folks crowded into sardine-like pockets of extreme body heat, right? RIGHT?!? [Uh, no, actually. – Festival Ed.]

And I wish I could be in Chicago right now so I could be watching (as I type) Mac Demarco thumbing his tiny, twee-sounding keyboard and doing a Tiny Tim impression, or some guy named Tobias Jesso Jr. (not clue) over at one of the adjacent stages… good god, folks gotta sit through this tepid hipster-approved gobbledigook until 8:30 until Wilco comes onstage? And it starts all over tomorrow and Sunday with equally unexciting lineups? Let me repeat: standing in a scorching, dripping city park in the middle of July to see a bunch of middling indie rock grovelers, spiced by maybe, I dunno, 4 or 5 actual stars over the course of the entire weekend, is a cultural event? I passed up free tickets for a chance to stand out in the middle of a hot field in Tennessee in the middle of June to see a bunch of generic rock grovelors in order to man the BLURT office during the staff’s annual vacation getaway for this? We love Pitchfork and all that [Ditto! – Indie Rock Ed.] but whoever jumped the shark over there in the booking and scheduling department must have been vacationing on the Carolina coast and contracted a shark bite in the process…

Those of you wise enough to be sitting at home in front of your computers can watch selected set streams via Pitchfork. Me, I’m going to see Ant-Man at the multiplex, then hang out at the food court at the mall. Maybe I’ll smoke some spike or something before I go and pretend I’m actually at PF2015…

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