MOST FUCKED UP THING I'VE EVER SEEN: The Ettes

Coco Hames reminisces
about the Albino Creep of Motel 6, Memphis.

By COCO HAMES

We were in Rochester, NY in the middle of a long winter tour.
It was snowing and extremely cold. We were at the Motel 6 near the airport, which
was hands down the creepiest, gnarliest Motel 6 we’d been to, and that’s saying
something: Its gnarliness even beat that of the still-wet bloody carpet of the
Motel 6 in Memphis.

Poni and I were watching TV and Jem went to get something
out of the van. When he came back, he had this really disturbed expression on
his face and was really quiet. Poni and I were like, what’s
wrong with you?
He looked around the room all nervous and said, “There’s
this crazy huge tall bald albino guy fucking this doll thing, I don’t know.” We’re
like, “What?!

His hotel room door had been open, and we realized all of
the doors on the hall were open, like we’d come to the annual Rochester truck
driver Motel 6 swinger night. When we walked out to the van to head to the
show, Jem said, “His window is wide open, keep your head down, don’t look.” But
I looked up just as he said it and saw him: A giant white naked hairless man
furiously fucking a small pale doll with all the lights and TV on. I was like, Well, I won’t be forgetting that for a while.

When we came back after the show, his window was dark and
covered, but had been completely shattered. Maybe someone else saw him and
broke the window like, “Close your goddamn window you creep!” Or maybe the guy
got so carried away his white moon of an ass broke the glass. All I know is, we
had to take a lot of pills that night to make sure we all could sleep
peacefully-because it occurred to us that the still, small thing he had been so
violently fucking may not have been a doll.

This is the second
installment of a BLURT recurring feature, the Most Fucked Up Thing I’ve Ever
Seen. You can read the previous one, penned by Ben Weaver, HERE. The Ettes’
Look
At Life Again Soon (Take Root) is still a
hot item-but look out for a new EP and a Dan Auerbach-produced limited-edition
single in March 2009. Catch �em at SXSW, too. Meanwhile, check out their latest
video, below.

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