Fox News Is Getting Fucked Up

 

No, really – we know
they have been fucked up for a long time. But now they are literally “getting”
Fucked Up.. Or at least part of it.

 

By Fred Mills

 

In today’s official “fucked up news” comes word that Fucked
Up frontman Damian Abraham (aka Pink Eyes) is going to be a Fox News
commentator. The 300-pound, bearded, shaved head behemoth vocalist apparently hit
it off with Fox’s Greg Gutfeld, host of the network’s “Red Eye” program and for
some reason an avowed fan of Fucked Up, and after a couple of appearances on “Red
Eye” wound up hitting it off (term used loosely) with some of the Fox bosses. (Presumably
not Bill O’Reilly.) Reportedly, plans are afoot to have Abraham be a token
left-leaning pundit, or something like that.

 

This info comes courtesy of Canada’s CBC news, who quoted
Abraham, in an interview, as saying somewhat incredulously, “I think this
probably seems weirder to me being in this situation than for people outside
looking in… It’s one of those things where do you take this ridiculous
opportunity as it’s presented to you, or do you avoid it and just continue on with
your life? That’s sort of the internal struggle I’m dealing with.”

 

Hey, we are all about ridiculous opportunities!

 

As Pitchfork drily observed in their own Fucked Up account, “Abraham
isn’t exactly part of Fox News’ core demographic.”

 

You got that right.

 

Fucked Up does Black Flag’s “Nervous Breakdown” (which that O’Reilly cat may be having about now if the news turns out to be accurate):

 

 

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