Joe the Plumber is ready to rock with Aaron Tippin. And why not invite Jeff Guckert-Gannon to the party?
By Randy Harward
We know that a country star has to have three names, but
Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher? Sure, Joe the Plumber, as Wurzelbacher is known,
has that Larry the Cable Guy ring, but this blue collar fraud/fame-grabbing
douchebag now thinks he has what it takes to be a shitkickin’ country star.
Just like Aaron Tippin, the ostensibly straight-proclaiming, gay-appearing
“patriotic” country star and part of the braintrust, along with booker-manager
Bobby Roberts and publicity firm The Press Office, that signed Joe the Plumber to a deal that may include a contract with a
major record label.
requests: a possible record deal with a major label, personal appearances
and corporate sponsorships. A longtime country music fan, Wurzelbacher can sing
and “knocks around on guitar” but is not an accomplished musician or
songwriter, according to The Press Office’s Jim Della Croce. “He’s a
complicated guy with a very dynamic personality,” Della Croce told Politico. “He can sing and obviously has a strong
political point of view.”
Well, maybe it’s not so surprising. Joe the Plumber doesn’t have a license
to plumb, and probably only sings in the shower. Sarah Palin didn’t have a
passport until 2006, but wants to be Assistant to the Regional Manager of the
United States of America. The Bush Administration let a gay rent boy join the White House Press Corps. To say nothing
of the fact that our current president is an all-around dingleberry who lucked
into the family business and stole the highest elected office out from under
You know what? Joe the Plumber looks a lot like that rent boy, Jeff Guckert (or Jeff Gannon, whatever). And check out Tippin’s ‘stache and come-hither leer. Maybe there’s something there, and we can expect a series of DVDs (License to Plumb, Knockaround Guys: The Reaming, Working Class Ass, NASCAR Nights/Fire Island Days) to hit adult bookstores–in the super-secret hypocrites-only room.